Jessica Hildrum

Do men use telepathy, radar or sonar

Do you think that men have a radar or sonar some kind of telepathic link? Because it’s kind of eerie how they all contact me simultaneously and likewise are silent as the grave, they are completely coordinated as if they plan it.

I bet they do plan it, probably laughing it up all the while “let’s really screw with her head” we’ll all contact her at the same time making her choose among us and then when she has made a choice let’s disappear of the face of the planet! Including the one she chose! Muahahaha!”

One thing I know for certain is that women have no such link, we do not telepathically or otherwise plot and plan to mess with guys heads, we are too busy obsessing about why Mr. Wrong didn’t call or text..

But if we did have such a link, I would so mess with Mr. Wrong’s head!

OMG did a “mess” bomb go off in my apartment?

My apartment looks like an explosion took place, when I left this morning I swear it was pristine; ok maybe the dishwasher was full and there were a couple of dirty dishes in the sink, perhaps there was some laundry hanging out to dry and a pile of laundry ready to fold on the couch.. But I swear, apart from that, pristine.

Someone must have snuck in and danced around while throwing clothes, dust elephants, dirty dishes and gunk into every nook and cranny, I bet its that nasty little dirt elf.

He needs to get his green tights wearing, goatee sporting, tartan tutu wearing butt back here and clean up this mess.  I sure as hell aint gonna do it!!

Trying to do the Norgie thing and feign indifference

So as I am sure you have noticed, if you are reading my blog which obviously you are (LOL)– I am pretty much of a wear my heart on my sleeve kinda gal.  I believe in being honest and I do not play games.  But I have noticed that a certain amount of disinterest seems to perk a guy up, I ignore him – he gets in touch – I respond – he ignores me.  And while I tear my hair out by the roots wondering why he is ignoring me, what is wrong with me, begging the Gods to tell me why, why, WHY? I figure he simply forgot that I exist.

Every message he sends, touch or kiss is a rush of adrenaline and every silence is equally devastating.

I have been thinking that what I should do is take the “Norgie” approach and feign indifference, responding eventually to the initiated contact in an aloof manner, being more reserved and mysterious.  Now, this type of behavior, between you, me and the molding tomato in my fridge is not exactly in character.  I am after all the Queen of impatience, wanting what I want now or preferably last week, pretending and playing games is frankly beneath me and no I am not going to write what you think I am – you know – “He should be beneath me, right now” – I refuse to say it, I will not go down the route of flagrant innuendo!  Not to say that he shouldn’t … I digress.

So I will try, I will, really, I’ll start right now.  Alright, here I go, am now with furrowed brow and deep concentration actively ignoring, making a compartment in my brain labeled “what was your name again”.

Tick – Tock, how long am I supposed to do this anyway?

Muy caliente!

I find myself smiling from ear to ear as the sweat pours out of me at the gym, enjoying the sensation of rapid heartbeat, the burn in my muscles the quickening of breath, loving the hardening of my muscles, seeing a clear difference, muscles toning almost from day to day.

I register that there are many men who think I am flirting with them as I smile broadly in every which direction!  And the really handsome one (totally out of my league) pretends to not notice me. After living in Norway for 25 years I know when those Norgies are affecting indifference, its actually kind of funny.  I can’t blame him though, must be rough to be so pretty and get all that attention.

Believe me, it is a nice view from the rows of exercise machines, and he puts on an excellent show, with the squats, sit-ups, shoulder exercises and stretching *drool* – could be the drooling that gives him the “heebie jeebies”.  I did, at one point when he was stretching wonder whether he’d mind if I sat down on his lap, but I decided against it as his Norwegian reaction would probably be to throw me at a wall (not up against).. I am veering off the point here, sorry.

OMG I think he thought I was following him the other day.. We left the gym at about the same time I was about 5 or so steps behind him, he turned and saw me and I swear he sped up! Dude! Seriously, I was on my way to my car, sure I was checking him out, but show me a woman (or man for that matter) who wasn’t!  I almost told him to chill, but figured I’d probably freak him out, and being one of those picture perfect dudes he’d probably have a coronary.

Eye candy at the gym is indeed an added bonus to the changes in my own body.  Flex baby, flex! You know you are muy caliente, come on over here!

How can perception be so different? – Disclaimer – not funny…

Funny how differently people see things, perceive a shared experienced.  When my heart has been broken it is most often because of that.  I came across something I had written some time ago – always relevant, but sorry, not funny.  This is what I wrote:

We can share a moment, a beautiful moment and in that second it means the world to me, I see the future in that moment, I feel the warmth and love of that moment – I see myself reflected in your eyes and feel perfection incarnate.

I know you too have enjoyed that beautiful moment, it is nice and sweet, you are filled with warmth, perhaps in that second you too are filled with love and possibility, but it is without deeper feeling or meaning, for you it is not the promise of things to come, it is a nice memorable moment but certainly no more than that.

The realization that you do not share my perception hits me like a freight train, heart imploding leaving a vacuum in its space, sadness overwhelming me.  I plead silently for you to see me, know me, and love me. Knowing that it will do no good to ask, for what is not there – is not there.  No amount of cajolery, sweet talking or seduction will create it.. so, I must let it go, reluctantly, sadly let it go.

I have never understood how it is possible to have such a different experience of the same precious moment.