13 Dec 09
Be first!
Yeah – flattery will get you everywhere
What is the deal with us women (yes, I am generalizing in hopes of distracting you from thinking that I am referring to myself ). A little flirty flattery and *BAM* – all rational thought and judgment skills out the window!
Come on!! I am pushing 40, I should know better. And yet, taken off guard by some “hottie” I loose my mind. Now don’t worry I haven’t done anything I shouldn’t do, I just get easily disappointed, going from feeling radiantly spectacularly special to feeling like the sludge in the bottom of Oscar the Grouch’s trashcan.
And that too is really annoying, attaching my self worth to superficial flattery in any way shape or form; I know better – really – I do.
The funny thing is at the core, I am pretty laid back and don’t really take anything too seriously. That is given that I know the deal from the get-go.
Maybe it is all about practice, learning to trust enough in ones own self worth to not attach much importance on the desire for outside confirmation. After ages (12 years) in a good marriage, immediately followed by a turbulent (but great) 2 year relationship, I guess I just don’t have the thick skin I used to (and I may be remembering my own thick skin with the rosy tint of memory).
Patience is needed, and frankly patience is not my strength, I want whatever it is to happen, to happen now, actually “now” isn’t quick enough, yesterday would be better. And even yesterday is too slow, things must go Speedy Gonzales fast in the world of Jess. When I have to wait for whatever reason, it is, torture!
I know I need to be generous with myself, be ok with my own gullibility, it is ok to be distracted and no – I am not the sludge in the bottom of that trash can regardless of who retracts their attention.
All I can do is hope that somewhere out there is the mate who can handle me, all Speedy Gonzales, high maintainance, action seeking yet lazy ole me.
