Jessica Hildrum

You really need a heart to heart at 3am?!?

After like – NO – sleep on Saturday, I managed to get to sleep last night at a reasonable hour and what happens? At 03:00 my wonderful precious son decides that he needs to have a heart to heart talk.  I tried explaining that we both needed to sleep, that it is 3am and that I would loooove to talk to him in the morning.  He got seriously huffy and upset and we spent the next hour getting back to sleep.

Now I am in a seriously pissy, nasty mood all I want is to get back in bed pull the covers over my head and hide from the world.

What a way to start the day – and oh yeah it’s Monday!!!

But life sure is wonderful too..

It is my week with my son and we are having such a good time together, Iam filled with so much pride and love, I just cannot contain it!!

Yesterday, he did his homework at the kitchen counter while I made dinner, we talked and laughed, he set the table, ate well, cleared the table with pride and laughter it was so nice.

It is such a pleasure to watch him grow and find himself, he has recently learned to read and is stopping to read everything he sees..Yesterday at the store he said  “wait a minute Mom, I just want to sound this out E-X-T-R-A-P-O-W-E-R and Mom can we read it backwards?”.

He strokes my cheek, looks me straight in the eyes and says “I love you Mom”, and instantly the world rights itself and I am overwhelmed with gratitude and love.

So tired.. wake-up call – please

November has got to be one of the worst months.. dark, cold, rainy.. No matter what I do cannot seem to get enough sleep.  I go to work – dark – come home from work – dark.

You know what I need – a vacation!  Yeah, somewhere tropical, warm, beautiful with white sand and crystal blue water…

I’ll make myself a deal, loose 10kg and I win a trip to somewhere exotic, once that weight drops off I’ll figure out

a) how to finance it

b) who to go with (no fun to go alone)

Alright so here is the deal:

Loose 10 kg. by end January and off to somewhere exotic like Thailand or the Maldives in March. Anyone want to join in on the fun?  If you want to join in comment and off we go!

I will update regularly with visits to the gym..

update: 25.Nov – was a good girl and went to the gym (hated it but did it!)

Midlife crisis pt.2?

Lately, I find that I am frequently asking myself the profound “am I making a difference” question.  My goals for myself have always included finding a way to make a positive contribution to society.  I strive to align my professional goals as far as possible while also accepting the fact that I am not the peace corps type.

While I truly believe that being a good parent, raising an engaged and empathic child is in itself a valid contribution, it is not enough.  It is also my job to set a good example to show that it is our responsibility to get involved, our duty to contribute.

The simple, honest truth is that I feel unfulfilled and disappointed with my own lethargy.  Maybe all this “soul searching” is the second phase of my midlife crisis, I finally know who I am,  feel relatively comfortable in my skin no longer struggling to justify myself  – so maybe it is natural to start expecting more, wanting more.

I really feel the time has finally come to make a difference, now all I have to do is figure out what that will be.

One hell of a crappy day

Man, have I had a crappy day today.  The gods definately conspiring against me – everything I touched turned to poo.  Great plans for the day, got basically nothing done, with all kinds of lame stuff popping up making it impossible to do what I wanted.

Reminds me of a fantastic Shel Silverstein poem where a little girl experiences that everything she touches turns into raspberry jell-o, I suggest you run out and get a copy of “A Light in the Attic” and read the poem “Squishy touch”.

Me, I have the fab touch of poo.. I don’t suggest you shake my hand today or on the other hand, come here ole’ buddy ole’ pal and give me a hug… *squish* MUAHAHAHA!!

Luckily the day ended on a good note, a great dinner at Alex sushi (the best sushi in Oslo) with one of my very good friends. Thank you for letting me vent, thank you for the great company and for the advice.

I was reminded that although everything around me may have that slightly brownish, smelly, pooish tinge, tomorrow is indeed a new day and who knows… perhaps tomorrow I’ll have the touch of roses.. much better eh? And then who knows or dares to dream…

And between us, tomorrow is guaranteed to be better, an evening of Spa treatments followed by dinner at Nodee with my best friend.

I put my faith in tomorrow… now, if I could just turn off the tv and go to bed.